A Prank Played on Nathan Shouldn't be Played at All
by Sai the Super Saiyan
Summary: ONESHOT Someone plays a prank on Nathan and, in true Dethklok fashion, a simple prank ends up going horribly, horribly wrong. Sorry for the shitty summary. I tried.


"Damnit!" Nathan cursed as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was not happy, not at all. And it was all because of a stupid prank that someone had pulled on him while he'd been passed out drunk. How could he go out and face the rest of Dethklok? They'd all laugh at him! "Ugh… what can I do? I have to get this motherfucking thing off of my head!" Nathan scowled as he tugged at the ring of flowers on his head, but to no avail. That thing was super-glued to his head. It wasn't going anywhere.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Nathan heard Toki's voice on the other side. "Hey, uh, Nathans? Is yous okay? Yous has beens in theres for a whiles," he said. Being Norwegian, Toki's English wasn't completely perfect; Toki had only learned English when he'd left Norway behind and had joined Dethklok.

Nathan scowled. "No, I'm not okay! Go away!" he growled. Toki, on the other side of the door, was taken aback by Nathan's suddenly commanding tone.

"Oh… okays, Nathans," he said. Nathan listened closely for Toki's footsteps, and was satisfied when he couldn't hear them anymore. He sighed and looked back in the mirror. The flowery wreath – made up of very pretty white and pink flowers (roses, to be more precise) – did not suit him _at all_. And since he couldn't get it off without ripping the skin of his head off, he was kind of in a massive dilemma.

"Ugh… I guess I gotta make a run for my room… But…" Nathan trailed off as he looked at the door, a frown darkening his face. "But they're out there… waiting for me to come out…" Nathan didn't know what he could do. He could absolutely _not_ go out there. He could already imagine the looks on Skwisgaar's, Murderface's, Pickles' and Toki's faces when they saw what was stuck to him…

Nathan groaned as he leaned against the bathroom sink. Great. What a fucking wonderful start to the day…

Finally he decided that his only choice was to make a run for it, to see if he could get to his room without getting spotted so he could try to rip the wreath off. Now he didn't even care if he took skin or hair off. The Klokateers would patch him up, no questions asked. "Good. Okay, here goes nothing…," Nathan muttered to himself as he pulled the door open and tried to run…

Only to meet Pickles' eyes just as the drummer was walking out of the kitchen with a drink.

"Oh shit!" Nathan cursed as Pickles just stared at the vocalist. His drink fell from his hand and smashed to the ground as his jaw dropped. Nathan looked out of the corners of his eyes to see that the others – Murderface, Toki, Skwisgaar, and even Charles – were staring at him too. Then the laughter started. At first it was just Pickles, and while the drummer tried his best to suppress his giggles, it didn't work. Especially when the others started to laugh too. The only one who didn't laugh was Charles, but he had a look of shock on his face that was just as embarrassing. Nathan began to feel himself go red.

"Whats is goings on heres?" Skwisgaar asked as he strode up to Nathan, never ceasing to subconsciously practice his guitar playing. Nathan growled.

"Shut up," he said, but that only made the other members of Dethklok laugh harder. Nathan, by this point, had had enough, so he proceeded to shove Pickles out of the way and storm towards his bedroom. His day had definitely been ruined.

When Nathan finally got to his bedroom, he slammed the door and stalked over to his bed. Then he sat on the side of it and tried to yank the wreath off of his head. But it just wouldn't detach! He couldn't rip it off of his head, either, no matter how much he tried. It just hurt too much, and he really didn't want to bleed out everywhere (as much as he thought that it would be an awesomely brutal death).

"Ugh… this is ridiculous!" Nathan growled as he tried desperately to get the stupid wreath off again. It wouldn't budge, so he finally gave up and just sighed. Then, as he looked up, he got a glimpse of his calendar. He saw that, in three days' time, he and the rest of Dethklok had a concert. And he could most definitely not go out on stage, all done up in corpse paint, and still have that ridiculous wreath glued to his head. "Oh come on!" he grunted as he tried again and again to pull the wreath off. No dice, yet again. Nathan then realised that he might need help. And there was no way that he was going out there and asking for help from the others. No way. Instead, he decided to summon a Klokateer.

"You called, my lord?" a Klokateer said as he walked into the room. Nathan nodded and pointed at the wreath.

"Help me get this stupid thing off," he growled. The Klokateer nodded as he walked over, grabbed the wreath, and tried to yank it off of Nathan's head… only for the heavy metal vocalist to yell out in pain. The Klokateer immediately let go, and Nathan sighed. "Go," he suddenly growled. The Klokateer left immediately. His face went grave all of a sudden, and he growled, "I've got to go to the doctors or whatever," before he hurried out of his room and all but ran to where the band's motorcycle was kept… only to see Dethklok standing there waiting for him. He skidded to a stop and looked angrily at them. "What the fuck are you guys doing here?" he growled.

It was Murderface that answered. "We want to take you to the hoshpital," he said, his lisp quite prominent. Nathan scowled.

"How'd you know I was gonna go there?" he asked angrily, not happy with the looks he was getting from a rather amused Toki and a laughter-suppressing Pickles.

"Dude, its reallys quite obvious," Toki said, his childish voice making a bit of Nathan's anger disappear. But Nathan was still very annoyed.

"Fine! You guys can come too!" he growled. Toki grinned cheerfully as the Dethklok band members got into their sidecars on the bike, and Nathan drove off. He was mighty conscious of the wreath on his head, and while he drove he could see all the strange looks that he was getting. He felt absolutely humiliated… but it could have been worse. His mother and father could have been there to see this…

When they finally got to the hospital, the agony for Nathan just got worse when he was forced – along with the rest of his band mates – to sit in the waiting room. There were other people in there too, and they just stared at the death metal vocalist with wide eyes. Nathan groaned as he hung his head, trying to hide his face with his long black hair.

Finally, Nathan was called in, and he was glad for it.

"So, what happens to be the problem, Mr Explosion?" the doctor asked. Nathan wordlessly pointed at the wreath, and the doctor's eyebrow rose. "I don't see the problem."

"It's fucking super-glued to my fucking head," Nathan growled.

"Ah, now I see your dilemma," the doctor said. Suddenly he took out a blowtorch from absolutely nowhere. Panic rose in Nathan's chest; he did not like the looks of that, especially when the doctor turned it on and it started blowing out fire. It was just like the time with that suicidal dentist; the blowtorch was way too close to Nathan's head. This doctor could kill him!

_Oh god. Oh my god. I'm going to die!_ Nathan's thoughts were racing, and in his panic he squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to watch. He didn't even feel the blowtorch melting the glue away… But he definitely felt the wreath slip over his eyes. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he cried, immediately trying to get the wreath off of his face. He wrenched it off and blinked in shock, but his flailing had done damage. The blowtorch had flicked into the doctor's face and had left the man screaming in agony. One side of his face was completely burned, and his eye on that side was bleeding profusely. The doctor fell backwards off of his chair, knocking a lamp down, which in turn made the light globe shatter, and the heated metal wire touched the wall, setting it ablaze. Nathan knew that it was time to get out of the room then, but as he tried to, the doctor stood and wandered around in a frantic and desperate effort to put the fire out on his face… causing him to fall through the window and shatter it. Glass stabbed into the doctor, causing him to bleed out. Nathan stared down at him, and then back at the wreath… which was now burning.

It was only then that Nathan saw tongues of fire reaching out the door, and setting the waiting room on fire. He heard screaming, and looked out to see that everyone but his band mates were ablaze. One ran around in a panic and smashed through a window, falling to his death. A woman tripped and fell headfirst into the shattered glass on the floor, impaling herself through the eye.

"Wowee!" Toki exclaimed as Nathan walked out and over to the rest of Dethklok. They all looked at the carnage in front of them, at the rest of the people burning alive and falling out windows, looks of mute horror and shock on their faces. Well, everyone but Nathan had an expression like that. Nathan had his typical death metal expression on his face. Then, as silence fell, Nathan said one word in his death growl voice:

"Brutal."


End file.
